Thinking about a new project with your SO?
Um, Idk about all of that.
It’s not always easy combining two styles into one space–or even if you both have the same style, agreeing on the best solution. Trust me, you’re not alone. I see it every day with couples.
You have the SO who “doesn’t want to be involved” but you feel badly making decisions without them, or even worse they say that and then hate every decision you’ve made resulting in starting the entire process over again.
You have the SO who says, “whatever you want will be fine.” Or the SO who ignores what you want and only wants it their way.
And then there’s the SO who wants to be involved but together you cannot make a decision to save your lives.
There is no reason for divorce or murder people! It may not be easy every step of the way, and you will definitely disagree. But, I can assure you that you will get through this project together. I promise.
Here are 5 tips to keep the peace with your SO during a project.
- Put your ego aside and really open your ears to listen to their point of view. Remember that the space belongs to both of you and even if they squash your idea, it’s their house too.
I know this is especially hard when you’re really attached to an idea or and item. Take a step back and reevaluate.
If it’s something you would put on your top 10 must haves, maybe try to create a visual for your SO so they can see what you’re seeing. And if you realize that if you came back in a few days and couldn’t do it or buy it anymore and you’re not heartbroken, then it’s not that important. Let it go.
- Speak up if you hate something, but be respectful when doing so. You both have to live there and neither one of you should feel anything other than pride when showing off your home. Respect each other’s opinion and styles.
Think before you speak up and do not attack their ideas. Remember that eventually you will want them to listen to you and your ideas. Show them the respect you want.
- Find a common ground. When my husband and I were choosing a bathroom paint, neither one of us would budge to the other’s side. We had to start from scratch and start looking at a color family that we both could live with.
If you have two completely different styles, search for items that compliment both or have a nod to the other’s style. Combining styles isn’t always easy, but it can definitely be done.
- Limit or eliminate bringing family and friends into the decision making process. Unless you live for a competition, this could get ugly. Try to only ask for opinions if you both are ok with it and try to ONLY ask those who either share your style or understand it.
Remember that they don’t have to live there and the final decision should be left up to you two. Also, just because your mom, brother, sister, uncle, best friend, or whomever did it, doesn’t mean it’ll work for you and your home.
- Keep it fun! These decisions are then the end-all-be-all. Don’t make it so serious that it’s no longer fun to deck out your home together.
Take breaks from the project, especially if it’s lengthy, go to dinner, a movie, or whatever you do to have fun. Make a “no reno talk” rule during that time and enjoy each other.
Throughout your project, remind yourselves that this is temporary and it will be over. Remember that you love each other and no project is worth not speaking.
Leave a fun story in the comments below about a project you took on with your spouse.